Captains Search

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Crowborough Town Council.

CTC has been looking for a weak minded individual to fill the vacant post of Town Clerk.

Their ideal candidate would be an easily pliable person who can turn a visually impaired eye to all the dodgy dealings that go on within the confines of the town hall.Unfortunately for the council the interviewed candidates were not prepared to be the gimp at the beck and call of their elected and unelected masters and were therefore not considered suitable.
The Town council are still looking for that elusive candidate that will not upset their apple cart.

Seeing the application from the point of view of a job applicant I can safely say that the Town Council are as good at recruiting staff as they are at saving the council taxpayers money.

So the search continues for a windowlicker who manages to maintain basic bodily functions but has limited mental capacity.Its a shame the councillors cannot apply for the job because they all fit the bill perfectly.Failing that the character pictured above seems ideal.

Monday, 17 May 2010

+++Breaking News+++ Sussex Police farce are still useless

With the Inspector of Constabularies comment that Sussex Police are useless at solving crimes ringing in their ears you would think they would be making a special effort to regain the trust of the Public .Not so unfortunately.
Today seems to be sit on the side of the road and eat doughnuts whilst waiting for the ANPR system to "ping" day. At Boarshead there was 1 nice new jam sandwich BMW(buy British why dont you) estate parked illegally in the bus stop with PC and WPC Doughnut standing in the middle of the road!!whilst at Crowborough Cross there was another new BMW estate with one PC doughnut in it also parked illegally in the bus stop.Good work guys you make us proud that you are so busy keeping us safe from being a victim of crime whilst at the same time keeping the local doughnut shop in business.

This is lazy Policing and has no effect on real criminal behaviour,its just purely revenue chasing.The accepted view within Sussex Police Farce seems to be why bother locking crims up when we can spend our time more productively raising money for ACPO (private company) by levying fines.

Sussex Police new motto -We are useless and we dont care.

Q Whats the difference between East Sussex Police Farce and a bucket of shite?

A The Bucket.

Friday, 14 May 2010

East Sussex County Council.

If you work for East Sussex County Council in one of those useless non jobs you had better listen carefully.That distant rustling noise you can hear will be get louder over the coming months.The noise will become almost unbearable like the distant drums on Zulu Dawn.

You will come into work one day in the not to distant future looking forward to a day full of doing nothing other than co ordinating filling in your expenses claim whilst reading all that important diversity equality partnership bullshit .Your desk will look like any other day but your non sexist free trade cafe latte is not waiting for you as usual.In its place is a liitle brown envelope addressed to you in a non sexist or homophobic way.You rip it open with the excitement of a young non specific gender person on Winterval morning.Perhaps you have got a pay increase again or perhaps you have been selected to attend a Common Turdpose traing course
on diversity and equality in neighbourhood community partnerships that you have been looking forward to attending . You read the letter "Dear Unspecific gender lesbo diversity worker your sacked you useless pile of non specific shit.Because the Labour party has raped the countries finances for the last decade we can no longer
afford the luxury of a diversity equality coordinator outreach wanker.
In short fuck off and get a proper job.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

East Sussex County Council.

I have had the misfortune to have numerous contacts with East Sussex County Council over the last few years.

It is interesting to note that on the whole the junior staff are polite and sympathetic but are not given any freedom to act beyond their rules which they seem to change to suit them.
The more senior staff right up to the level of heads/knobs of Department are however crap.They harp on about customer service without realising that we are not customers because we have no choice in public sector providers.
If you actually get to speak to these "senior" people it is obvious that they are ignorant of the fact that they are there to provide a service to you as a member of the public.
They are quite happy to talk to you providing you dont actually ask any tricky questions.They are even more happy if you dont say anything and let them gabble out their usual PC crap.Start asking them tricky questions and they cant cope.
They all seem to think they are more important than they actually are and they seem to have the impression that we the public are the servants and they are the masters.
Present them with the true state of play that they are actually the servants and we are the masters and they start to wobble because they have been brainwashed to the contrary.
Soon though we will have the last laugh because Greek style austerity measures are coming to a council near you regardless of whoever gets to form the next government.
We will all fall about laughing when these public sector morons are detached from the public teat with no prospect of getting another bullshit public funded job this side of the next ice age.
So to all those public sector leaders-enjoy it while you can because we all know the public finances are fucked and they are going to be the ones losing their jobs and pensions.You had better start being nice to people like me because some of you will be grovelling at my door no doubt wanting a job.
I have already formulated my policy of employing ex public sector drones so I am fully prepared.
My policy consists of stringing them along for a bit and then telling them to fuck off.If they protest I can say sorry "its the rules" and "close the door on the way out".