Captains Search

Friday 27 March 2009

Nuffink to do round ere-lets smash something up.


AN INITIATIVE to entertain Crowborough youngsters at the weekends was praised by members of the town council.

Manager of Freedom Leisure in Crowborough Andy Jones and Michael Payne from the Cruisers Inline Hockey Club attended a meeting of the sport, recreation and cemetery committee to discuss their ideas for a roller disco.

It is hoped the event will help in the fight against anti social behaviour in the Goldsmiths area. The first disco is due to be held on Saturday April 4 at Freedom Leisure Centre, and will be trialled once a month for six months.

So holding a Roller Disco at the Goldsmiths leisure centre is going to stop the youths congregateing at the Goldsmiths leisure centre.Well that makes perfect sense NOT.

If I had my way I would entertain the youth of Crowborough with a kick up the arse.All they do is whinge about nothing to do but dont bother to do anthing worthwhile for other people.The school and clued up teaches them how to be a pain in the arse but doesnt tell them about their responsibilities to not make other peoples life a misery .We are breeding a generation of selfish youngsters who want everything laid on for them on a plate.Rather than doing good for the town in general they hang around in drunken groups with the intention of vandalising everything they come into contact with.

Saturday 14 March 2009

Save the Polar Bear or any other photogenic mammal.


Congratulations to Cllr George Moss for winning the prize of snake oil salesman of the year(Crowborough).
"Town councillor George Moss established the Crowborough Towards Carbon Neutral project, which seeks to install meters in homes in a bid to find out how energy consumption in Crowborough can be reduced.
Sixty meters have been set up in different households; the device shows in real time the amount of energy being used, giving residents a chance to make savings and reduce their impact on the environment.
Funding for the group has been provided by Crowborough Town Council, and a grant has also been given by Community Action for Energy, part of the Energy Saving Trust. Those wanting to take part can either borrow the meter, or purchase one for more long-term use."


Councillor Moss assures us that installing one of these meters and having the Town Council snoop into your private lives will save the Polar Bear (or any other photogenic mammal ) from extinction.
Not only that but these meters are able to reduce the amount of C02 in the atmosphere by virtue of the fact that they are endowed with magic properties that mere mortals cannot begin to understand.
Only people who hold the high office of Town Councillor with responsibility for wasting money can understand such things but we are assured that he has watched Al Gores Inconvenient Lie so he does know what he is talking about.
Dont miss out on this fantastic offer buy one today and be disappointed for the rest of your life.
When the fully trained (to NVQ level 1in bullshitting) operative comes to fit your new energy meter dont worry that he is fiddling around with your power supply and installing a bug that can be monitored by yourself because for your convenience it can also be monitored by anyone who has a monitor display tuned to the same channel.
Also dont be concerned about the van with blacked out windows parked outside your home-there is no truth in the rumour that the monitors can also be used to monitor your household for undesirable behaviour .The monitors thought crime detection facility has been specially designed so it can only be authorised by people who have been approved by the Police State (stasi) committee of the council.
Bear in mind that the kind taxpayers of Crowborough are buying energy monitors for people in our community so thick they dont realise that to reduce your energy bills you have to turn your 52inch Plasma TV off for a few hours a day .I can hear them shouting now "what about Trisha or Home n Away,how am I going to watch all my favourite programmes 24 hrs a day if I dont have me telly on all the time".
Oh by the way Cllr Moss I got my energy meter free of charge from my energy supplier so you can stick yours up your domestic junction box cheers.

Thursday 12 March 2009

Mental Services.



Article from the Courier

WEALDEN District Council's plans for kerbside recycling could be under threat due to the drastic drop in the price of materials.
The plan to introduce kerbside recycling of five different materials across the district is under review due to the current market value of items such as plastic, aluminium and paper.
The first phase of the new recycling plan is due in October and was predicted to cost more than £700,000.
The idea was to offset this cost with the sale of the materials but the price of items has halved since September last year.
As a result, a delay, or reduction of the service is under consideration....

So all that crap about saving the world and landfills filling up was just rubbish(sorry).Wealden were doing it to make money and now its not viable they throw their toys out the pram.

Is it any coincidence that environmental services is nearly the same as mental services?

Thursday 5 March 2009

Crowborough Closed for Business


Crowborough High Street is cut off with roadworks.
What are the town council doing to help businesses survive the double whammy of recession+road closure.Well perhaps a notice saying that businesses are still open for business wouldnt be too difficult nor would a mention on the town council website.
Well perhaps if the councillors were less worried about fairtrade fortnight and more worried about Crowborough traders we might be getting somewhere.Fairtrade is a misnomer anyway as all it means is that you end up giving the local warlord extra money to buy extra AK47s.
Why should the consumer be forced to pay over the top for low quality goods just because it makes the local councillors feel good because they are doing something for the worlds poor.
I only hope they will extend that to the traders of Crowborough whilst there are still a few left.
The councillors keep going on about the visioning document even though they themselves havnt got the"vision" to look beyond the front door of the Town Hall.Isnt it time we got rid of some of the dead wood in the council.Some councillors like Mr and Mrs Moss seem to be on a crusade to save the world even though saving the world is not in their remit.Saving Crowborough traders should be a priority but until these councillors start doing their job and stop ignoring the wishes of the public nothing will be done and we will all suffer the consequences.Councillor Moss perhaps you could start by actually replying to emails sent to you-thats not too tricky is it?