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Saturday, 14 March 2009

Save the Polar Bear or any other photogenic mammal.

Congratulations to Cllr George Moss for winning the prize of snake oil salesman of the year(Crowborough).
"Town councillor George Moss established the Crowborough Towards Carbon Neutral project, which seeks to install meters in homes in a bid to find out how energy consumption in Crowborough can be reduced.
Sixty meters have been set up in different households; the device shows in real time the amount of energy being used, giving residents a chance to make savings and reduce their impact on the environment.
Funding for the group has been provided by Crowborough Town Council, and a grant has also been given by Community Action for Energy, part of the Energy Saving Trust. Those wanting to take part can either borrow the meter, or purchase one for more long-term use."

Councillor Moss assures us that installing one of these meters and having the Town Council snoop into your private lives will save the Polar Bear (or any other photogenic mammal ) from extinction.
Not only that but these meters are able to reduce the amount of C02 in the atmosphere by virtue of the fact that they are endowed with magic properties that mere mortals cannot begin to understand.
Only people who hold the high office of Town Councillor with responsibility for wasting money can understand such things but we are assured that he has watched Al Gores Inconvenient Lie so he does know what he is talking about.
Dont miss out on this fantastic offer buy one today and be disappointed for the rest of your life.
When the fully trained (to NVQ level 1in bullshitting) operative comes to fit your new energy meter dont worry that he is fiddling around with your power supply and installing a bug that can be monitored by yourself because for your convenience it can also be monitored by anyone who has a monitor display tuned to the same channel.
Also dont be concerned about the van with blacked out windows parked outside your home-there is no truth in the rumour that the monitors can also be used to monitor your household for undesirable behaviour .The monitors thought crime detection facility has been specially designed so it can only be authorised by people who have been approved by the Police State (stasi) committee of the council.
Bear in mind that the kind taxpayers of Crowborough are buying energy monitors for people in our community so thick they dont realise that to reduce your energy bills you have to turn your 52inch Plasma TV off for a few hours a day .I can hear them shouting now "what about Trisha or Home n Away,how am I going to watch all my favourite programmes 24 hrs a day if I dont have me telly on all the time".
Oh by the way Cllr Moss I got my energy meter free of charge from my energy supplier so you can stick yours up your domestic junction box cheers.

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